he does not make me feel that "special" anymore..


we are back again but quarrel again..


insensitive and immune to my tears.. sometimes when i cry, i really needed someone to comfort me.. but he just feels i am kicking up a big fuss.. and he just turn off from me.. i dun feel that i am that important to him anymore..


i am just like talking to the walls.. he talks more with his friends than with me.. sometimes when i need a listening ear, the replies i got is hmm.. ah... orh... f.u.c.k. fuck! i feel BETTER typing everything out than telling him my problems. u knw.. seriously, i am not feeling very comfortable with the new change in my school.. i told him and he just himm.. ar... oh.. orh..


it is like so.... de~ FUCK.


the computer is like my best companion.. such LOSER life i have.. i shld just drown myself in books and cyber world.. why do i love him so much.. fuck.. i shouldnt okay.. hate myself! i shld just love myself..


and whenever we quarrel, i am not able to concentrate in my work.. i just feel like my whole world come crushing down.. cos u see.. i am depending on him TOO MUCH. too much that i have lost myself..


i dun understand why do i have to spend time and effort traveling down to his workplace everyday.. i am such a STOOOPID WOMAN.. wah lau.. go find him for wat right.. and somemore it is so fuckinggggg far......!! i am like cheapening myself.. DAMN IT.. i shld just go home and have good rest RIGHT.. i shld just love and treasure myself.. COS HE DOES NOT TREASURE ME AT ALL..


i feel horrible.. he does not bother.. he does not care.. so.. why shld i care so much about him right.. seriously.. if i continue to carry on the mindset of depending on him too much, i am going to do BADLY for this sem again.


heck care my tears.. fuck.. walls.. walls.. i seriously have no place.. no position.. WHY SHLD I CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. WHY SHLD I CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. HE TREATS HIS FRIENDS EVEN BETTER THAB ME.. LOSER ME.. FUCK.. IRENE.. U WERENT LIKE THIS!! i was strong and INDEPENDENT.. i feel like fucking weak.. weak woman..


I AM NOT A WEAK WOMAN.. YES.. I SHLD NOT CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. why shld i bother so much abt his feelings when he dun bother about my feelings..


he shld just find a new gf.. i shld just forget all abt him and lead my SELFISH LIFE..