i will be strong and not depend on him anymore..


i will only become WEAKER if i depend on him.. no.. i dun wan..


i can be strong by myself.. i gonna work harder this sem and chase back my GPA. my target is to get all As for all the modules.. cos no more comm skills.. can do it de as long i put in my 100% effort.. i have been losing my confidence in myself.. scare of trying.. NO.. i gonna be back the SUPERIRENE!


a true successful person is someone who uses his effort and abilities to achieve.. rather than someone who depends on luck..


YES I CAN DO IT!!! YES! I AM STRONG AND SUPER! i am NOT a weak woman who depends on bf..

he does not make me feel that "special" anymore..


we are back again but quarrel again..


insensitive and immune to my tears.. sometimes when i cry, i really needed someone to comfort me.. but he just feels i am kicking up a big fuss.. and he just turn off from me.. i dun feel that i am that important to him anymore..


i am just like talking to the walls.. he talks more with his friends than with me.. sometimes when i need a listening ear, the replies i got is hmm.. ah... orh... f.u.c.k. fuck! i feel BETTER typing everything out than telling him my problems. u knw.. seriously, i am not feeling very comfortable with the new change in my school.. i told him and he just himm.. ar... oh.. orh..


it is like so.... de~ FUCK.


the computer is like my best companion.. such LOSER life i have.. i shld just drown myself in books and cyber world.. why do i love him so much.. fuck.. i shouldnt okay.. hate myself! i shld just love myself..


and whenever we quarrel, i am not able to concentrate in my work.. i just feel like my whole world come crushing down.. cos u see.. i am depending on him TOO MUCH. too much that i have lost myself..


i dun understand why do i have to spend time and effort traveling down to his workplace everyday.. i am such a STOOOPID WOMAN.. wah lau.. go find him for wat right.. and somemore it is so fuckinggggg far......!! i am like cheapening myself.. DAMN IT.. i shld just go home and have good rest RIGHT.. i shld just love and treasure myself.. COS HE DOES NOT TREASURE ME AT ALL..


i feel horrible.. he does not bother.. he does not care.. so.. why shld i care so much about him right.. seriously.. if i continue to carry on the mindset of depending on him too much, i am going to do BADLY for this sem again.


heck care my tears.. fuck.. walls.. walls.. i seriously have no place.. no position.. WHY SHLD I CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. WHY SHLD I CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. HE TREATS HIS FRIENDS EVEN BETTER THAB ME.. LOSER ME.. FUCK.. IRENE.. U WERENT LIKE THIS!! i was strong and INDEPENDENT.. i feel like fucking weak.. weak woman..


I AM NOT A WEAK WOMAN.. YES.. I SHLD NOT CARE SO MUCH ABT HIM.. why shld i bother so much abt his feelings when he dun bother about my feelings..


he shld just find a new gf.. i shld just forget all abt him and lead my SELFISH LIFE..

he told me... he wants to have his selfish life back.. leave him alone...


after i kick up an unreasonable big fuss ytd..


i told him.. i feel restricted.. i feel sick of the relationship.. i do not have any freedom.. i cant do anything i want.. i cant even play the computer.. WTH.. i feel like i am talking to the wall.. most of all, i feel that lack of attention and concern from him..


i am very possessive.. very very possessive.. him too.. we end up quarreling many times.. i started the quarrel most of the time.. it might be the fact that we meet EVERYDAY.


i feel lost and stunned now cos i think he mean it when he told me to leave him alone.. i feel lost cos i am very used..too used..to seeing him everyday. it became part of my daily routine..


i dunno what is gonna happen.. being in a relationship affects my studies.. maybe i am going to lose him forever.. i dunno.. well.. maybe..?