I really want to cry but I can’t as I have work early in the morning. I don’t want to end up like a panda with puffy eyes. Furthermore, it is the opening ceremony tomorrow and I am the usher! Maybe I will store my tears and cry tomorrow after work. So…what I will do right now is to rant out all my frustrations. Seriously, I wonder if there is anybody who will still read my blog.
We quarreled again. Yes, again! I really cannot take it. This is the last straw! I can SURVIVE WITHOUT him! I am not even his priority. He has so much time but he does have much time for me. What am I in his life? Am I just a puppet to play with? He got really agitated when I questioned him about some photos. Like hey?! Who on earth will not get work up when he/she sees photos of opposite sex in their bf/gf phone?! And…Seriously, who in the right mind will take a photo showing half of their body wearing hot pants (without face) and send out to her friend?
Why do I even need him when he does not know how to appreciate and love me? Irene, why do you even want to shed tears for such man? Why do you even want to cry for him? Are you sure he really treats you well?
I am just holding on to the past. Deep within, my heart is still living in our past but he has changed. He does not have time to accompany me. Our love has faded. Why should I continue clinging on to this relationship? This man does not deserve my love and time. I am not a piece of trash when you can just do whatever you want and throw it anywhere.
I can live better without him. I need to lead a new life without him.

It has really been a long time since I last post. Blogging is still the best way to vent my frustrations. Cos I wanna talk to myself here than 对牛弹琴。The cow here is refering to my bf. At the moment, he is still my bf but maybe not in the future. Our relationship has been really sucky. How do you feel when someone do not recipocrate your love back? I really detest myself for loving him so much and putting him as my main priority. Do he care or notice when I am weeping everyday? Am I even important? Do I have a place in his heart? I am really hurt..hurt so much by him. Nothing lasts forever! I really wish someone could just pull me out of this hellhole! I am suffering. My heart is breaking bits by bits everyday. I really regret..alot..alot..for getting into this relationship. I am hurting so much and he is enjoying himself. I am draining away emotionally and mentally. I need someone to hug me tight and lemme cry out loud.

heard that the SIA walk-in interview ytd was overwhelming! omg.. do u think i will stand a chance if i try the walk-in interview next year? 0.0

i still have one more year to graduate and my chances of getting into local uni are slim. i have not been performing! 0.o the starting pay of poly graduate is really low. i am really satisfied with getting 3.5k every month if i can join SIA!

haha.. daydreaming too much!

i am feeling really depressed and stressed. the freaking worst part is i have NOBODY to turn to. these few months have been a torture for me. i am mentally and emotionally strained. but who the fuck cares?

death has more meanings than being staying alive. i wish i could just dump every fucking things behind and just travel around the world till very last breath.

seriously, i felt damn useless. DAMN FREAKING USELESS. i have never ever felt this useless and lousy in my life. seriously, i felt like a loser. BIG TIME LOSER. i dunno where the fuck the motivated and determined irene has gone.

things are damn fuck up!! serious fuck up!! every night i have problems sleeping.. my heart starts to race when i close my eyes. anxiety!

damn upset. i feel the pressure. fuck myself.. fuck it..

Isomnia

I can't sleep so here I am blogging.. I am really excited and I can't wait to give my boy the present that I have bought. In case u are wondering, I bought him a nautica watch. Love the design and hope he will like it as much as I do..! It is a Rose gold plated watch with black dial and black rubber strap.. I have always like guys wearing nautica watch! Lol! Cos I find the watch design cool and stylish. I like tag heuer too but it is super not within my budget. Maybe few years later? Can't wait for Xmas to arrive! :)

WOOOHOOO! TIMETABLE IS OUT!


i am so gonna love this sem! will be studying at TOURISM ACADEMY @ SENTOSA!! WOAH. this is one of the reasons why i have chosen tp tourism course over other poly. something diff!


i am so gonna rollerblade every thursday after school. i also wanna kayak!!!! 3 hrs break on monday will not be a problem cos WE CAN EXPLORE THE ISLAND!! lotsa things to do!!! too bad the IR is not opened yet! i believe we will have student discounts? we can head to vivo city for shopping! for movies! for food! for everything.. muahahahahaha!!! i am damn sick of the tampines campus already..


I AM SO GONNA UTILIZE THIS SEM AT SENTOSA!! okay not forgetting about the study part.. WEDNESDAY NO SCHOOL! HOW COOL RIGHT? shall utilize my wednesday for revisions. i am a good gal :)


WAHAHAHAHAHAAA

i just bought a super duper cheap air ticket to taipei. only 217 dollars!


WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! my estimation of accommodation for one is app $150 for 5 nights.


only $367 for 6 days 5 nights! CHEAP RIGHT?? yes freaking cheap!


april 14 to april 19! COOL! i miss taipei food! super nice! :D

Hello! I am BACK!

Japan school trip was SUGOI! Totally enjoyed it to the max!

day 1 -gero (ryokan and onsen)
day 2 - gifu (homestay)
day 3 - nagoya (school visit)
day 4 - kobe (free and easy)
day 5 - kyoto (free and easy)
day 6 - osaka

KOBE BEEF OISHII. SUSHI OISHII. RAMEN OISHII. TAKO YAKI OISHII. the breakfast and dinner i had at the ryokan was TOTEMO TOTEMO OISHII.

the school visit to nagoya city technical high school was cool! they were having a school festival and we were treated as SUPER VIP. you can only experience it in this trip! oh yup, i stayed over with a traditional japanese family for my homestay programme. COOL! really had a hard time communicating with them man! hahaha..

I LOVE JAPAN! i will love to visit tokyo and hokkaido one day with bf. brush up my japanese first and den bring him around. :)

planning for my next holiday destination. still keeping a lookout for cheap cheap air tickets.. I JUST LOVE TO TRAVEL and thats why i am a HTM student! haha!

SAY HELLO TO JAPAN IN JUST 3 MORE DAYS~!!!


omg.. i am feeling damn high about it. HIGH! a place that i really want to go so much! seriously, i am damn broke now. never been this broke before.. but i believe it is all worth it!

how i wish money can drop down now....~~ :)

OMG OMG.. OMG OMG...


if i have 70% of olivia ong looks and feminine, i think i will be perfect. haha! watch her performance in xing guang da dao 5. she is super duper good! idol!!!~

I AM GOING JAPAN IN JUST.....15 DAYS!


ooohh la la~ say yeah!


i am aiming to go taiwan, china or australia for my next holiday. still searching for the best deal! hopefully can go! worst come to worst go genting!


i have been working continuously for 13 days! 3 more days to rest day.. ohhh lala! jia you :)

YOYOYOOOO...


i manage to find a new job with the help of my poly classmate.. say GOODBYE to my current sale promoter job. guess what? i gonna work as clinic assistant. good decent job right? furthermore, i can get the same or even higher hourly pay than my current job. but den~ i will have to undergo thru training first.

isnt it cool to the max? muahahaha! i do not have to sux up to ppl i dun lyk anymore. the working atmosphere has changed. it is not as fun as before cos there are many ah bao. getting commission is a lot more difficult. schedule is super unstable. YEAH!!

the funny part is i unconciously assume close the clinic mgr into employing me. LOL! sales habit! better than waiting for call right!

i need to chiong chiong chiong. i need money. lotsa money. no off days at all next week. but who cares! i can take it.. chiooong ar!! !

I am mugging for marketing and the test is just few hours away. This is killing me but I am not giving up. I have to do my best and push up my grade. Just do it! Haha.. How I wish I could turn the clock into the future and be a working adult with a degree. Mad pursuit of papers is seriously killing me and my brain cells!! Guess what? I spent 4 days or less to complete marketing. I only attended three lecture and most of time I was dozing off. Tutorials are basically useless and wastage of time. I was just pretending to listen and daydreaming away. Just give me the textbook, lecture notes and model answers for all the past year papers and I think I can self study it within one or two weeks. Going to school is simply a wastage of time and just for the sake of that stupid 85% attendance and CLASS participation. The whole idea is stupid! This is damn meaningless!! But what to do?! :( Dun u agree with me?

WOOOOOOOO!!

it is LAST DAY of school tmr! YEAH! seriously, i am DYING. i look like a ZOMBIE. i think i am not going to do well for this semester. it is kinda screw up! i believe most of the students in da course screw up too. *console myself* lol! Sigh, this is really disappointing...

my hopes of getting into local uni are soooo gggoing to be dashed. my second hope is to get into airline industry! cabin crew! wooohooo! hopefully pls!!! only need to work 15 days per month!! how cool man! to be frank, i am sick of studying so aimlessly. studying kills moi brain cells!

i will really have to brush up my command of jap to increase my chances! last paper of jap grammer test 2 today! cool! seriously.. i have spent so much time learning the vocabulary and grammer. it is of a waste if i dun continue. study until i fall sick k! yup yup.. so i will registering for JLPT 4.

taking advance french next next sem.. if i can pick up these 2 languages, it will be of great advantage for me! esp when i will be working in the hospitality n tourism sector in da future?

JIA YOU!! always look on the bright side of life... ^^

i am a little bored..

SUPPOSEDLY to go out today but oh well.. :(

i am feeling a little stressed with school work..

will i be able to do well for this semester? i HOPE so..

rotting at home.. BORED! studying for my jap test later. BORED.

Woah!! Guess what? I am blogging with new phone! IPHONE 3GS!! cool!! Awesome!! Love my darling!! He bought it for me! Our first year anniversary. I bought him a raphl polo sweater. Cost me two hundred bucks! Not bad eh.. In exchange for iPhone! Kinda unexpected! It is exactly what I always wanted. Can't believe I am holding it again after like two years? Woohoo!! Seriously I couldn't bear to spend so much on a phone. Love love my darling!! Da best!! Coooooooooooool....!!!! Gosh gosh!!!! Oh yup, I smashed my lg phone LCD few days back. I have lost all my contacts! But nvm.. Cos I have my desired phone!! Wee.. And and and... The japan trip in CONFIRMED!!! Coool!!! Yeah!! Nihon ga totemo suki desu!!!! Life is good! Ok, for the time being. Haha!!! :))))))))

seriously... i am getting weaker in my academics!

i got into top 10% for da first sem and drop out from it last sem. really disappointed about my results! i would have been into DHL too.. DHL LEH!! DHL WOR!!! DHL!! but... :(

i am losing interests in studies and skipping lectures VERY frequently. u see.. i have only attended MKT lecture TWICE. damn jialat. am i thinking too highly of myself that i can get good results w/o attending lec? yes! definitely! i am simply tooooooo lazy. oH-MY-GOD!

my bro was telling me that i would have been in any one of the local uni already. served me right for dropping out of jc. AND NOW i have to struggle with my one and a half more year of poly education. why cant i just fight on a little bit more back den.. this is seriously shit. i am one year behind my peeps despite i am the one who scored well for o levels.


i really really really realllyyyyyy need to study and focus for the upcoming exams!! i wan to get into year 2 dhl. i wanna get into local uni. i must do it!!!! i knw i can!! i just need to put in my 101% of effort. CHIONG ALL THE WAY TILL EXAM FINISH!!! yes chiong! chiong! chiong!!!! holidays den enjoy! yes chiong ar irene!!!!

it is the 6th day that we have not met. gosh! i cant believe i have survived through.. in fact, this is the longest period ever we are separated.

quarreled.. yes.. yet again.. but this time round, i am just taking my time to mend back things. cos i am simply too busy. there are super lots of things to be completed. i am drowning myself with lots of work. study, study and study to stop my minds from wandering off. if things cant be mend back, so be it.

part of me still misses him a lot but i am starting to get used to the way things are now. i.e. me being alone. somehow, there is lesser frustration. i dun really have to care about so much things. i am able to concentrate better in my school work. i do feel so shitty at times that even a hug needs to be requested. i dun have to care so much about his shitty friends' opinions about me. yes, they are bad company! bad people! i dun even have many topic to talk with them and i feel super bored when they are around. it is just very un-natural! must be the age gap differences..

there isnt anything bad about being single. so much freedom!~ can do whatever i want.. woohoo!

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination are omnipotent.


Ai Piang Jia Eh Yia...

i feel sad about the things happening around me...



things will get better.... hopefully...